I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
