Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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