His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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