I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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