Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
