people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
