Its about making memories worth repressing
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
