Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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