I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
