suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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