I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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