i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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