Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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