I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
