Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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