have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
