there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
