you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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