its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
