You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
