i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
