i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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