i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
