Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
