The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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