This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
