Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
