I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
