Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
