what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
