I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
