I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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