ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
