I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
