sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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