Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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