Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
