I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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