he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
