Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
