We need to rekindle our bromance
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
