He is an equal opportunity slut.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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