Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
