yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So gin and wine won't be happening again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
