before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize