Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize