Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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