; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You took a bar mat shot.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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