My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
