Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You pole danced in your parka.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
