After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
