I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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