Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
