Dual....:-)
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize