dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
