why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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