"it" just moved
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
