Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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