Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
