Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A+ Viking dick
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
