I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she looked like the before picture.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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