talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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