69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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