I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
