i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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