When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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