I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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