mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
